Tears

i can cry.
i do.
i sometimes cry just to hear it.
to see the droplets.
i cry for no reason.
i cry for more than one reason.
i cry because i know if i didnt i would doubt my existance.
i cry because the tears that form make me smile.
Tears are pretty.
How can they bring sadness.
tears come when i cry.
sometimes they dont.
i cry because i want it badly.
i cry because you dont.
i cry for the summer that rests on my eyelashes at the each of the day.
Tears on my eyelashes, wash away the summer.
Long gone is the summer now.
No traces are allowed to be laft.
I cry to take the pain away with the tears.

nothing

It's like we're playing a diffrent game
when i'm not told the rules
i'm blinded not knowing where i'm headed
and feel that we're acting such fools.
Theres this line infront of me
calling me coaxing me
try try try try try try try
one thin strip
one chance
i'll walk it because your there beneath me
ready with arms wide
to catch me
open them open them
my lids flicker and im half way there already
flip flop drip ....... DROP
down and down
further and darker
theres music and its hugging me tightly
too tightly
i cough open my mouth to scream but theres nothing there
a crack
loud in my ear
warmth envelopes my head, it feels nice
im still waiting for your arms to embrace me as i land.
theres no landing
just darkness.
just silence.
just nothing.

a kiss

The simpleset of things he could say i would smile
and the lightest of touches i could fly
with the soft of his lips
and the curves of his tongue
will my heart try to break from my chest.

forever will this candle beat

By this touch, the first of many
i light this hope and hold it high
i swear upon thy moon aopn thy sun
if i could i would never deny.

you have this, this is true
this flame, this heat
it burns but for you
since thus time our lips doth meet.

a knight in tights
with curly brown hair
deep brwon eyes glower bright
entwine with me thou maiden fair

hear me love or read aloud
this is my heart singing proud
your hand through which i pass this heat
forever will our candle beat.......


written by carolanne: 19\12\08

dreaming of you

When I close my eyes I dream of you.
Can't sleep at night 'cause I wanna be with you.
Don't want to live, don't want to cry
Without you by my side.
When I go to sleep at night I ask God to make my days bright.
I know he will do it - I know it is true.
Because he knows I only want to be with you.
I hear your voice inside my head.
I can imagine us together again.
I know it will happen - I know it is true;
Because I asked God if I can be with you.
I see you and I together again;
Holding hands and feeling the pain.
What a beautiful feeling - I wish it were true.
But I am only dreaming - dreaming of you.

A Knight in shinning armor

In this world full of hurt and pain,
I need someone who would help me through the rain.
To comfort me when Im sad,
Doing everything just to make me glad.
In this world I need a Brave Knight,
Who would never give up any fight.
A knight who would dry away my tears,
Telling me to overcome my fears.
A knight who loves me for who I am inside,
With him there's nothing more I need to hide.
A person who will still be standing strong,
Eventhough everything has gone wrong.
I need someone who is willing to give me more,
Someone I can call my Knight In Shining Armor.
In this world full of hurt and pain,
I need someone who would help me through the rain.
To comfort me when Im sad,
Doing everything just to make me glad.
In this world I need a Brave Knight,
Who would never give up any fight.
A knight who would dry away my tears,
Telling me to overcome my fears.
A knight who loves me for who I am inside,
With him there's nothing more I need to hide.
A person who will still be standing strong,
Eventhough everything has gone wrong.
I need someone who is willing to give me more,
Someone I can call my Knight In Shining Armor.

not the way

Who i am
makes me who i wanna be
that's the plan
but it never works that way

there'll be laughter in the air
when i roam
there'll be changes in the way
the world turns

oh!
its not the way you look,
or that way you speak
its the things you do
to be you
its not the way you dress
to fit in to be cool
its not the things you say
its the way you say it
with feeling from the heart

cos it smells nice
i've been wearing mens cologne
and my checkered shirt
they say i look like a hobo

i dont care
its who i really am
its my hair
too notty too blonde all i can do

oh!
its not the way you look,
or that way you speak
its the things you do
to be you
its not the way you dress
to fit in to be cool
its not the things you say
its the way you say it
with feeling from the heart

counting numbers in my head

counting numbers in my head
helps me when i lie in bed
and when my mind begins to drift
theres a place it find i cant seem to lift
im drifting in and out of sleep
i dont know whats real or whats a dream
my fingers are tingling my head snaps up
and there you are at the foot of my bed
my eyes are shut but i sense you
my head feels dizzy i sway but stay
i dont want to fall asleep
i dont want to wake up
either way i would be losing you
counting numbers in my head
stops my dreams from driving to that place
snip snap tick tock click clack
radom silence encapsulates my mind
gripping the side of the building im falling
i cant stop this free fall
but i know the ground is somewhere beneath me
i just dont know where or when
closer and closer yet looks further anf further
im telling the girl in the window to shut up
to stop her scream its hurting me
i look and shes got tears in her eyes
i look and she wearing a disguise
that looks just like me
shes falling too
her hair is perfectly normal though
she cant be falling
can i be falling?
am i her ?
is she me?
can i stop ?

The story of my body.

Inside me, in the middle of my chest, theres an organ called a heart . This organ seems to feeel the need to beat twice as fast when i am near you. i dont know why this is. Do i love you ? Is that the reason my stomach tightens and i seem to talk of but rubbish? I dont know. All i know is that this organ in the middle of my chest seems to play when you are near me.

I have began to realise that its not just my heart and my stomach that seem to act oddly around you. Its my hands too, they seem to have a mind of their own when you come closer, they want to reach out, to hold on to your big protective hands. I dont know why ? I have to stop them, to tell them that this is inapropriate. They will soon learn.

Then theres the story of my head, i mean come on cant this body of my give me a rest? When ever he is near me i can sense it and automatically turn to look into those deep brown eyes.... what am i saying???? Yes my head raises to him, my eyes go all doey and i cant stop it ! its absurd !

Maybe this is what love is meant to feel like? like an emotion you cant control, that is never to be put under chains, not that it could if you tried. I dont know whether i like this feeling? It makes me feel useless.

The most unusual thing has been said to me today. Apparently he hass the sme problems with his head as i do. I was told today that his head didnt listen to him and was looking at me, without my knowledge, for more than 5 minuites. How odd? And now he is giving into his hands too and letting them wrap themselves around me. Should i like this as much as i do? I may have to give in to this emotion once and for all.

Maybe our lips will get their own way as well.

keep me

smart eyes you have they look into my soul

pretty eyes there browner than piece of coal

intensive eyes they bare a thousands word to be said

warm eyes they bring me hope when i feel down



take my hand and pull me away



you gota be real for me as your pulling me in to your chest

hold me tight never let this feeling rest

i wanna fall into your soul where you can keep me forever



your voice is wraps around my heart each time

your voice is stronger and it speaks as mine

your voice can capture my creativity

your voice is quickly a part of me



take my hand and pull me away


you gota be real for me as your pulling me in to your chest
hold me tight never let this feeling rest
i wanna fall into your soul where you can keep me forever

Witness

Cold hands placed on my cold heart to hold the broken pieces together.

Head hung in shame to face my feet, the heaviness in place forever.

Lost in my own mind, searching for the hunger feeding of my soul.

Burrying my warmth in the back on my mind to keep me from whole.

A voice like honey melts in my ears, tempting and calling me out.

It wraps around my soul and tugs for realeas till i shout.

"NO! not anymore can i take this helplessness you surround me."

I couldnt stop myself when i thought of you and what i want to be.

"i hate this i hate this, with God as my witness"

Ill scream but i really mean take me away with your hands so warm around my heart.

New days

I wake up and smell the sweet scent of solitude. Lonliness encapsulating my emotions in one single gulp. I lift my heavy head full of thoughts, swimming about their usual speed of 100mph. And i realise i am in a classroom where i'm standing at the front, fully clothed waist down.
I've noted i'm alright with this, but what i'm not alright with, is the fact that i am alright with it. Yousee what i mean? No you dont. Of corse you dont. Because in my head there is only one thought that makes sense and that is the crazy woman shouting at the top of her lungs, wanting to break free of this curse of solitude.
Never.
Forever.

Sordid fairytales of human nature and modern times .

Rupunzel

Locked in the tower with super long hair

rupunzel did dither about in despair

the circular walls were closing her in

and the lights where fading and starting to dim

the voices were chatting about in her head

but one in particular caused the brief dread

he shouted with clarity pulsing her vein

till she did realise he stood in the rain

outside he was waiting to climb her sweet locks

to peel of her stockings and rip of her frocks

sauntering by to the window did she

and whipped out her hair to climb like a tree

a fireman in red but a hero in black

dressed in white from front to back

his pecks petruding his bisceps lean

his buttocks round and his glare was mean

sweeping her up in one swift arm

carfull to keep her far from harm

the bed 4 posters inviting in

she gazed in his eyes with a playful grin

the moon soon came up to watch the show

her pale skin brushed his skin like snow

extacy brimmed and delight soon followed

the bodies entwinned 'bout to explode

his shirt all white with his smell it lingered

she put it on her face all flustered

a kiss onthe forehead a hand on his chest

rupunzel took time to lay down to rest

as early as birds the sun up and shinning

the bed was empty with out its linning

he'd taken the sheet to climb back down

and left her asleep not making a sound

a single tear she let fall for him

and soon were the lights beginning to dim.

ululating birds and bees.

it wallows aound my bare neck, it wraps my body and sweeps me into the void where i cant breath. your presence like the cold lets my hair stand up on end without a purpose but sstill it feels the need to let me know your the one, standing there looking in to my soul.

The warth that you bring lets the cold escape from my body and leaves me hanging in the eternity of your life. If i wanted i couldnt but i dont so it doesnt matter much anyway. for thou has thyne chest in a hold for the years to follow.

I would give thy a rose for all the smiles i let escape from thyn mouth but i would not want to dry the gardens of eden that you love so much. the birds and the bees all listen to your honey combed voice and ululate along.

Any need ? *Cabbage

Egg. A familiar sense of foreboding swept across her today. Wondering the deserted beaches jammed with bodies, but still alone in the desolate shell. All she needed was that smile, to hear that smooth erotic voice, that look, that touch to make her day. But no. Egg. In the same place she was before, on the same coast with another vegetable. This time is Coliflower her *Cabbage?? She thinks so.

That brush of his hand will sweep 'coss my cheek

to wipe past the tears of departure

and the vexation that bubbles from the deep of my soul

will show me my possible future

that coli for sure is my cabbage i know

and his grasp i will wait in the sun or the snow

he cant assume i will wait here for ever

but i know i would if we would be together.

*Cabbage = an Edward. True love. Can't live without. Separation brings longing and pain in the abdomen.

Break the mould??

The little white Egg sitting up in her tree, could see the world for miles, see all she would ever see. In a world like Egg's, your captivated, your trapped with the anchovies, unless you break free. You must crack the linning, break the mould and see for yourself if theres more to the world. If i was Egg, i'd know just what to do, i would call up my couliflower and Nit and Flea, to see if they wanted to come and join me. We would bring the sunshine and sea in a cup so that whereever we went, we knew we were home. From west coast to East coast the trek it is long, but the company we would share would be better than alone.

I am Egg. Or an Egg of sorts, we share the same interests and live the same life. So maybe i am Egg. Will i ever break my mould?

With my hand holding his

and his holding mine

we walk through the pannels

that each divid time

i'm looking at mirrors

where the walls are all black

and i see what i've done

dont want to look back

i shiver and see

im cold and alone

and the hand i was holding

ive noticed is gone

the cold comes a sweeping

my hair whips my face

i feel that im weeping

look down in disgrace

Egg he would call

looking up with glee

to see his brown eyes

searching for me

i'm lost in the void

where the walls are all black

but with the touch off his hand

i am brought back

A story about the Egg who writes here....

There once lived a lonely little egg, on the south side of the coast line. Surrounded by achovies living happy content little lives. Little lonely egg was not happy with her life. Egg wanted to live life to the full. With love and excitement, with her fellow chums the Flea and the Nit. But her heart reamined With the Coliflower. The Coliflower. Egg's true love on the east side of the coast. Such big dreams for such a little Egg.

i smile and i bite. i crash and try harder. i give it all to be better, go bigger and laugh more. how about you come take a ride with her and lets share the laughs.

Like sugar on a candy cane
summer is resting on my skin
Slightly salty like the ocean breeze
beaten down like a pebble sleeping on the beach
its on my nose, in my hands
on my lips, on my mind
seven years no autumn in sight
no leaves fall, tangle in my hair
no forest of Z's asleep under leaves
just the silent humming buzz of bees
the wind it blows to knock me down
but i stay on the ground look up to the sky
the trees have clothes amid the drifting clouds
laughter so young float along the humid
low and mature surf fresh greens
life as a butterfly
seeing people walk on by
life as a big old oak tree
letting random's come and lean on me
brace the joyous sunshine of life
dance in the element of surprise
hand in hand with your soul
fresh, bright eyes lined up with yours
feel it in your hair
fly with your heart and peaceful
summer pris-temps

bikini bottoms and a plait in her hair.

The his-happenings :

Blog : I shall be using this as an online diary, so you will hear/read my day to day events, if you are a guy you will soon learn to understand that you will never understand the wokings of a girls mind and if you know me then please dont read, or if you do please dont show this =]

Me : Well i am the not so average teenage girl. i am .. well. lets just say im not right in the head. I like to stand out and be noticed and i HATE being copied. I love the sea. My love. I have some great true friends and i have some not so true friends. Grow to like me or try. =]


6th form, bikini bottoms, random plaits, leanne, sophie, olivia, jasmin, sea, literature, austin, love, laughing, hugs, music, chocolate, curly hair, photos, modeling, retro, flea, spanish, french, c.c, rowena, alex, christmas trees, sax, clarinet, singing, art, hearts, paper, Eyes, the falls, and plainly, simply, me.. =]