im living a life

Hello you, a well known fiend,
i welcome your presence
with open arms
embrace your presence
with no alarm
i understand your ways and thoughts
i see each clock
turn and tick
yet take it lieing down
each punch each kick.

i known the future.

as clear as the sun beams.
as predictable as the rising moon and falling stars.
ill walk into that black hole of doom
frozen and shattered to death.

yet each time i await my destiny with open arms
a warm breeze stops the
inevitable, my clogs un-popped.
i live a death. where i cant stand no more.

speech has escaped me.
sounds have clogged my ears.
and the sights i see no longer give pleasure.

i have lived a life for so long in silence
that no i feel is the time to speak up.
LOUDER than before.
someone must hear me ?
are they too wrapped up in their own lives that they dont understand
they dont understand how im feeling at the moment and im
screaming in despair
wont someone ask me in all honesty
if the feelings i am showing is the story of my heart??

should they not uinderstand this by now??

no one.. NOT NO ONE. knows the extent of the pain i am forced to with hold.
like on a phone where the caller wont pick up
i am living a life on hold. God just wont let me go.
let my body seize and my soul float to salvation.

em pleh ,esaelp.
ksa i lla s'ti.
ecaep