Im lonely. and have no idea on how i am to stop it all.

Alright. So here i am.

I feel so lonely right now that it has affected my temperature.

I feel cold.

Its not nice.

Its as if im only half here.

As if the other half is residing with Grandadio.

Making sure he is not too lonely.

As he lies in bed.

Soaked in pain.

I feel sick to the stomache to think that this will make him better.

Its a crying shame that it wont.

It will make him worse.

Whats the point i say?

Prolonging his life, but making it uncomfortable.

Where is the justice that he should live his last months like this?

Where ungrateful men walk around care free with no health problems at all.

And im sitting here in pyjamas wrapping my arms around myself.

Trying to hold myself together.

So that when he comes out, i will be whole enough for all of us who arnt.

Then theres Jasmin.

How will she cope?

How can i help her though this?

How can i make it all better?

What can i do?

Its all going wrong and i cant stop this winding fall that we are all facing.

Show me the way God.

Show me what i need to do.