The test of my HEART

I don't want him to get freaked out. That is why i vent all my girlie anguish and desire upon my blog. We are so new that i dont want to fuck things up. He whom i shall call Green, i believe has been sent down on a space-ship, buzz-ed his little toosh on down to earth and fell into a hibiscus plant. From there he sung a sweet song that lured me to this flower and its sweet aroma. As this flower opens i see more off him and piece by piece he flutters into my heart. He has battled with the Dragon, and the brain-teaser too and yesterday he passed the endurance test of the beep, so now he resides to conquer the lock on my heart.

We haven't actually united our bodies, i have chosen him to be the one to land Martian probe on planet Venus. I am scared that once we do touch each others souls, that we will either like magnets attract or repel. Both of which will break my heart. I am so ready for him to land on planet Venus that i can reach out and touch the balloon between us and i want to physically throw it away, pop it. See this is why i feel i can't tell him this. Because i am so weird. He puts up with my weird-ness but i wonder how much he can take. Especially when it's on this topic.

Now for topic mum thunder. . . .

I want to crawl into Green's arms and hibernate until she is dormant once more. The eruptions that continuously spew onto me are horrendous these days. I will never be good enough for her because i am too alike her. As much as it pains me to say these dreaded words. But i am different in so many ways we are almost adopted.

Back to the splinter in my paw. . . .

Love. I don't want to be in this situation, i did, but now i wish all i got was fun because, at the moment there is a distance between us but soon, there will be a light-years of roads between us. And we are so new that i don't quite know yet if Donne's theory of the compass will apply to us. Will the united nations of our souls carry our love for us? Will he want it too? Or will i? I know i know this is so teenage drama but none-the-less it is what is pacing through my sex-driven mind. That too! How will i cope without the growl of his kisses on either side of my lips. Or the electricity of his finger-tips?

I don't want this wave to end, and i don't want to fall of my board but as the midday sun rises i can see that my wings will burn and my grip will loosen. I don't want to be paranoid. I don't want to hold him back either. However much it would pain me his smile is worth a hundred suns more.

Get a grip Woman!

.......and so the Summer begins. Here i am, bikini in hand and him in the other. The sun in on the end of a string and im taking it where ever i go. I want this to last. I want this to be the best.

No what if's. No regrets. No should-ah's, would-ah's or could-ah's. This is my time.