just a spit.

i do it to myself
i let my mind go wander
and when the memories come flooding back
same old lane same old attack
the floor beneath me disappears
im falling slower than my tears
and here im lieing in my bed
alive and breathing inside im dead
i do it to myself
endanger my own health
with every thought i catch my breath
each memorie brings me want of death
here i crouch not knowing what
could hurt more than this lot
to think of him and i before
or him with another me and more

alone and cold and bitter i turn
as the wood in the fire with time does burn
what or who can flip my soul?
can mend my heart ..... and make me whole?