of the day

hello. welcome to my blog of the day. 17.06.09. 16.45.

thought of the day. ''why cant i grant my conciousness peace.''

colour of the day. grey. a grey cloudy day for the pathetic falousy of my mood.

number of the day. 3. number of times i have wanted to gouge my eyes and memory out.

song of the day. ''full moon'' the blach ghosts.

i hate this enternal system, where i cant escape myself of these stupid thoughts. stupid girl. i can sit in a room, like a tin of sardines, brimming with people, and yet i will sit there, looking straight ahead, thoughts spinning this way and that. I like not being noticed, and i hate it when people ask if your ok. ofcorse im not ok! would a normal person truly trusting in themselves with nothing to worry about sit ice cold in a room of friends? no. that is your answer. but i know you will never leave me if i give you the real answer will you? so i lie. its only a white lie. it wont ever affect YOUR life. its like acid on my skin, burning away all the fences i ever put up, those eyes that look apon me. and when you ask whats wrong. how can i tell you when there is no end to that question. just an eternal system of wrong doings in my life. so next time you see me ask me only this.... .

Blameing myslef seems to be the only answer to the question of my life.

By casper. the original.