Sordid Tales of Human Nature #5 The Walrus and the Carpenter

The walrus was a funny man
with a greying thick moustache
with extra meat around his waiste
and a coat that hadnt been washed

He had problems with his eating
he ate too much and could not stop
He ate and ate to clear his cuboards
until his coat would pop

The carpenter a different sort
had thinning hair on top
was skinny and average tall
looked like a naked mop

The carpenter however too
had problems he wont eat enough
he'd miss a meal here and there
no one would notice it wasnt tough

The Walrus and the Carpenter
Great friends were they together
and wondered out along the shore
no matter what the weather

The moon came up and the sun went down
they looked out far at sea
decided to make friends with those
whoever they may be

Near the bottom of the ocean
mother and baby oysters dreamt
Their rosy cheeks and bonney bonnets
declared their sweet content

But soon came the men with their trusting smiles
and guided the oysters shore
with their little quick steps in their cute little shoes
that they have no feet i am sure

To their shack they arrived
and so did their hunger
they decided to feed
so hungry they were no longer

In the kitchen the carpenter made
at the table he cut he began
to cook up a feast for him and his friend
and this is when he sang

"A loaf of bread," the Walrus said,
"Is what we chiefly need:
pepper and vinegar besides
Are very good indeed-
-Now if you're ready,
Oysters dear,
We can begin to feed."

Scoffing up the pretty things
the Walrus soon was bloated
the Carpenter looked in disgust
but with dismay he then quoted

"O Oysters," said the Carpenter,
"You've had a pleasant run!
Shall we be trotting home again?
'But answer came there none-
-And this was scarcely odd, because
He'd eaten every one.