Theres no light bulb on behind my eyes anymore.

This is so damn confusing! I am most definitely still in love with Coliflower. That is a fact. But i feel like i have feelings for Broccoli too, granted not as strong. No where near as strong. But how can i harbour feelings for Broccoli whilst i am still in this state? Its annoying because at a moment like this where i have to sit in a room which i once shared lustful glances across with Coliflower my feelings for Broccoli are overpowered, they seem so minimal that they almost dont exist. As if i will never feel like this for anyone else ever again. I mean ive been like this for over 5 months now, you would have thought that would have been long enough, but oh no. Why cant i move on? Why cant i get over it? Its like it will never end. Like no other feeling with match or measure up to this. And it pains me to say but its true, any feelings i have for Broccoli are overpowered by those of Coliflower. Its an endless circle.

I feel like a monster because, looking back on it i have been leasing Broccoli on, as if i could leave everything behind me and take that place once more. It feels like my life is a Nintendo game, where i cannot move up a level unless i complete each task or have seen every clip, its as if i have to do my very own tick list before i can finally get over him.

Im kinda empty. Im no angel that you can hold on to and float up to the sky with oh no. Im empty, a shell, now theres no light bulb lit up behind my eyes. Ill never be able to love somebody again with this much force, its left a mark upon me. I put everything in to this love with out even realising, and the worst part it i tried to prepare myself for this, i new it had to end soon and yet i still ended up like this. I just didnt want to believe it.

Now i have nothing left to give. Im sorry.