Pain within the alone

supressed emotions under my skin
pulsing my veins reading my expressions
trapped between me and my shield
my self is trapped within.

i dont worry when im walking alone
i know that if i stayed still my soul could not sufice
and what i do i dont condone
not when my soul isnt worth the price.

My breathing is staggered my chest is tight
the leads that keep this body moving
tangled in webs round the lies and deceit
no more electricity for me to fight.

i know im not worth the grass i sit on
when i look at myself and the things i have done
i deserve pain just as anyone more
im stumbling on and wondering what for?

Nobody knows me at all

Nobody knows me at all
im trapped in a world where the blackness
and solitude is my only hope.
i hate how people try and take my identity
try and control me
try and boss me around
try and take MY life into their hands,
i have my own lkife and i plan to take it into my own hands
not yours
so bug off
and leave me be in the black sea.
You know who you are.
so dont pretend.
i want to walk alone. and you are constantly there beside me.
and it annoys me,
i am a tree i am a shrub
i am a cloud.
i cannot be trapped in a box
or kept on a lead
i am a free spirit
waiting for a chance to leap.
but you YOU and stopping me live
how i want
leave me to float
leave mje to wallow
leave me to smile
leave me
leave me
leave me
leave me
in my corner shouting and screaming to myself
leave me in the darkness of my soul
just

leave me .

17 things i hate about you

I hate the way that you were there
pretended that you actually cared
i hate the way i fell so wuick
then brushed me off with one smooth flick
i hate the more the txts we sent
and the time on my phone obessing i spent
how everymorning there you'd be
flashing on my screen so i could see
and how you played my shinning knight
those sweet dream txts every night
i hate how you know all to well
how deeply in love with you i fell
i hate how right now your making me cry
how stupid i feel when i think its a guy
i hate how i felt all safe in my dreams
your guarding is harder than at first it did seem
i hate how this list could go on till i find
that ever single thought that goes through my mind
in the end i hate most at how its unfair
at how much i say i hate you
in the end i still care.

crave.

the angers rippling through my veins
finding it hard to pull on the reins
that will stop my surge that craves your blood
the hunger for pain as dirty as mud

i want to see that look in your eyes
not the tender look i now despise
a look of horror of hurt and pain
that once i beared each time it rained

this low call thumping through my self
mimics the sound my heart entails
and shows im lost no use for help
this body is limp and dead entrails

the inner stength i craved before
now surging my blood with an almighty roar
i want to test it see its power
like the petals i ripped off of a flower

crave your blood
crave your pain
see the horror
drive you insane

like it once was
for me to live
with out your hand
you used to give