I've never had to think of today being my last day, however reading this book i have stumbled across this topic. What would i miss the most, or who, more importantly? What would you do if you found out that this was your last day on earth? Last chance to walk bare foot across the grass. Taste the chocolate linger on your tongue after that chocolate bar that you consumed so fast that you dont even notice. Would you tell the people who meant the most, how much you loved them. Tell them that its your last day, or simple let them know you love, loved and will always love them.
From the way i interpret life, you only get one, so live it as if its your last day. Leave behind no what if's with your footprints in the sand that will soon be washed away with the tide. If i knew, heaven forbid that i were today this time tomorow, i dont know how i would react. No one does. But i know that i would not let fear swim in my veins and do the unimaginable. I would walk up to the one regret that hosts a seed of doubt in my mind and tell him the insides and outs of my heart. Selfish i know to think of tht at a time like that but hey i cant help it.
I saw the poppies growing and springing up everywhere on the way home, but i didnt automatically think of bloodshed that we are brainwashed to do at school. I thought of how beautiful they were. Are. How something so pretty can be linked with something so unGodly is beyond me. Most things are, but i was born to question, as we all are. I looked up to the sky and then down to my hands. I placed my hands upon the walls that make my house. Everything has material worth. I want to be one of those poppies blowing in the wind signifing somemthing. They are important, because no matter what they link back to the dead, and then the soldiers are remebered. I wonder if there is something for every dead person, something i mean that reminds the living of them. I hope there is. For me i would hope it would be clouds, because i see my self as a cloud i guess, forever drifting like the tide.
Memories are like streams of thoughts, they pop up everywhere. But they hurt, alot. They can make you laugh so much you actually pee yourself, or your stomache hurts real bad. If today was my last day, i would have called up all my family, take a camera and go to the field and wait for them to turn up an hour late. Time for me to look at the world. The trees, the flowers the bees, the birds, the litter, the ineveitable litter cast in the gutters and ocacionally strewn in the flower beds. Then they would turn up and i would tell each and everyone how much i love them, without them knowing the truth, and have a good old knees up, record the whole day on camera. I want to be remebered. For the good. I dont want people to think of all the selfish things i have done, said or thought. And that in itself is a selfish thing.
If i could miss something when i go i dont know what i would miss the most, surprising my dad with a cuppa tea whilst he is working and see his smile. Hugging him and feel his akwardness but knowing that he still loves me. Reading my book in the prescence of my closest and dearest most treasured friend whilst she is on her laptop, feelilgn so comfortable knowing she is there 3 metres away yet so close to my heart i could burst. The Christmas mornings when both my brother and sister lived with me and we would cuddle together in one of our beds and open our stockings together, them knowing what i got and smiling at my belief in Santa. Shoutinng with my mum at how im not a kid anymore yet both of us knowing this argument would be over within a couple of hours and we wouldnt stay mad at each other. All these memories i will hold in my heart, with many many more. That is what i would miss. My memories, because without them i am nothing.
