Wednesday, 29 December 2010

What should life be like?

''Morning Dear, feeling any better today?''

I think i'm coming down with the Flu. And yes if you ask, i am feeling sorry for myself.
But you won't ask.
It seems that no matter what i do in this house, it will never really be a home. I have come back for the Christmas holidays to the house my parents live in and where i slept before University. But it has never really been a home, well not since i had a grab on reality. And my 'Parents' are merely the people that finance me. Investing in my future. So really i should be grateful. Shouldn't i?
I just assumed that with a family comes 'Love'.
i was wrong i guess.

My mother has had a sore back for a while now. She has been to the Doctors and has been taking pain killers. But when guests come some how her voice miraculously has a rusty-ness to it. As if she has a cold. Or flu. There's a 'kum cough hum' randomly in her demeanour. It's all fake. She just wants attention.
Every morning i ask her 'how is your back today? Feeling any better?' Sometimes she doesnt even reply, other times she doesn't even look at me. I'm not seeking for sympathy and don't you dare offer it. Bc i am used to it. This is my life and it has made me strive to have a better one.

I shouldn't hate my mother. I don't think i do. But i really do dislike her....ALOT.

My Father though. What is it like with him? He is THE BIGGEST BROWN NOSER/BUTT LICKER/TEACHERS PET i have ever known!

I was made to go to my Grandparents today. Even though i had just been sent to my room (for making my self a sandwhich and not my mother even though she saw me making one and didnt ask). Even though i am ill. And feeling sorry for myself.

List of symtoms;
                         Headache for over a week. Agonising pain.
                         Belly aches after every meal.
                         Snotty nose.
                         Throat ache.
                         Ear ache.

But then again they would know this if they even bothered to ask how i am feeling.

So i am dragged to the GrandRents. Where my mother gives me an evil glare and tells me to stop sniffing and use a tissue. ''WELL I AM SORRY THAT I HAVE THE FLU! BUT YOU SEE I DON'T HAVE ANY BOGIES TO BLOW OUT! IT IS A BLOODY REFLEX!''

Instead however i said along the lines ''well i'm sorry! i can't!'' With a edgy tone to it, quite loudly. See they didn't take into account that i am ill. Apparently according to my Mother, if she is ill, I CAN'T BE. For she even called my Brothers Girlfriend this morning to see how she was feeling. Because she has a cold too. :|

Anyway on the way home she bloody has a GO at me!! I was NOT happy. And then my Father decided to join in and be my Mothers hero, her knight in shinning armour....Against her own Daughter.

I know families have troubles, but should i feel like this? Should i really be compelled to detest my Parents?

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